A Survey Is A List, Right?

Courtesy of the lovely Nadine. Some weekend-worthy thoughts.

If you were one of the Seven Dwarfs, which one would you be?
Doc. Because I run the show. Or Dopey, cause I’m totally awkward around the opposite gender.

Have you ever thrown popcorn at someone and then pretended it wasn’t you?
Yes. I have also thrown peanuts at people and nearly been thrown out of East Side Mario’s. I like to throw things and pretend it wasn’t me. But only at my friends, not strangers.

Have you ever flown first class?
Not yet! But I’m thinking of dressing up when I fly this fall in hopes of an upgrade.

Would you rather surf in California or ski in Vermont?
Surf. I don’t do cold-weather sports well. Mind you, I don’t really like being wet either.

What is one topping you MUST have on your pizza?
Cheese.

Do you prefer to read fiction or non-fiction books?
Fiction. No, non-fiction. No, both! I like good books. True or false, I want them to be quality.

Would you rather read books or magazines?
Books. Magazines are flighty 9 times out of 10.

Have you ever seen a shooting star?
Yes. There are people who haven’t seen shooting stars!??? They must be the same people who have never slept in a tent.

Have you ever had your cheek pinched by a relative?
Does an annoying sibling count?

Have you ever torn your pants in public?
Yes. I ripped a hole just under my butt when climbing a fence. Thankfully it was nearly dark and I don’t think anyone noticed. I didn’t until I was home…OH. Also, I somehow magically got a massive rip in the seat of some jeans while at a conference of 400 people. I noticed a breeze…and promptly went to my room to change.

Do you know how a bill is passed in Congress?
No. We don’t have a Congress in Canada. And I don’t really know how one is passed here either.

Do you know the difference between a conjunction and an adjective?
As someone in my house would say, “Hells, yeah!” I am a champion for the cause of good grammar.

How many times a day do you brush your teeth?
Two, maybe. Usually. Generally. Not yesterday though…

Do you chew on ice?
Never. I can’t suck it. I can’t let it touch my teeth.

Do you watch TV or read before bedtime?
TV usually…books are for first thing in the morning and in the middle of the afternoon.

Are you allergic to anything?
Yes. Amoxycillin. Possibly shellfish. And probably boys.

How many times a week do you wash your hair?
Three. Every other day, usually. Sometimes I push it and don’t shower that one extra day. (ew, dirty!)

Do you own any plaid pants?
Shorts, yes. They are my painting shorts.

Have you ever been in a natural disaster (flood, hurricane, etc.)?

Yes. The scariest one was probably last summer in Calgary, alone in a car while the highway was slowly (or not so slowly!) flooding. It took me over two hours to get home, usually a twenty-minute drive.

Have you ever had food SO bad in a restaurant that you sent it back?
Probably. I don’t see that as a big deal. They’re paid to give you good food…so I don’t remember.
Have you ever touched a live chicken?
Yep. I have a photo while proudly holding one. It was so soft!

What about a live turkey?
Nope.

Do you sleep in pajamas?
As opposed to in the nude? Yes. As opposed to random clothing that doubles as pyjamas? Sometimes.

Can you touch your toes without bending your knees?
Rarely.

Did you just try it?
No. I’m at a desk.

What is the opposite of a hamburger?
Not a hamburger. I don’t know. What kind of question is this? Ice cream.

Do you talk in your sleep?
No. But I find it hilarious when other people do.

Have you ever played in the rain?
Rarely. But yes, I have. I just need to prepare myself to be wet and a little cold.

Have you ever had a Mexican jumping bean?
I have seen one. It’s a bit bizarre. I didn’t know you could eat them.

If you didn’t have any bread, what would you use to spread butter on bread?
Toast.

Have you ever swallowed your gum?
Again, there are people in this world who have never swallowed their gum??

Have you ever been ice fishing?
No. I don’t like cold. I don’t like fish.

Where is the most inappropriate place your cell phone has rang?
I don’t know…it’s always on vibrate because I have a very low tolerance for embarrassment, and that would count as highly awkward.

Have you ever called 911 by accident?
I have a deep fear of doing this, but don’t think I ever have.

Have you ever gone whitewater rafting?
No…I lead a boring life.
Have you ever faked sick?
Not really. I have convinced myself of being more sick than I am though. But I truly believe it.

Can you do a flip on a trampoline?
Ah ha ha ha ha ha. I can’t even touch my toes…

Have you ever surfed?
Only the internet.

Have you ever fallen off a horse?
Yes. Actually, maybe not. Last time I came close I broke a tree with my abs of steel instead.

Have you ever had anyone tell you that your fly was open?
In all likelihood. I’ve been wearing pants for 23 years. Mind you, this is another thing I constantly fear & therefore check.

Have you ever successfully pogoed on a pogo stick?
Yes. Not nearly as fun as it looks.

Do you eat breakfast?
I believe firmly in breakfast. My favourite is any sort of baked good or yogurt, granola and fresh fruit.

Would you rather shave your head or stop talking for a year?
I would not be able to stop talking for a year. So I’d have to shave.

Have you ever sleepwalked?
Nope.

Can you flip your eyelids up?
Why would I do this?

Are you double-jointed?
I don’t think so. But my elbows hyper-extend. Is that cool?

Have you ever gotten gum stuck in your hair?
Maybe when I was 8.

Have you ever thrown up after a roller-coaster ride?
No. That’s why I don’t ride them…

Have you ever eaten a dog biscuit?
I barely eat some human foods. Let alone animal foods.

Can you pick things up with your toes?
YES, I CAN! I think it’s pretty cool.

Did you just try to do it?
No, because I already know how cool I am.

How many foreign countries have you visited?
USA, Peru, England/Scotland, France, Switzerland. And I’m adding two more to my belt this fall.

Would you rather clean the bathroom or the kitchen?
Kitchen. Hands down.

Have you ever jammed a puzzle piece into a puzzle to “make it fit”?
No, that’s stupid. It doesn’t fit.

Would you blow your nose at the dinner table?
Yes. Well, not blow. But wipe with the napkin.

Have you ever slipped in the bathtub?
I did just this morning. I regularly do. But I don’t think I’ve ever wiped out.

Have you ever locked yourself out of your house?
Yes. Thankfully there is an extra door…

Have you ever made a semi truck honk?
Yes. Just by being myself….

Would you prefer to go through life with a huge nose or crossed eyes?

Cyrano de Bergerac, friend. End of story.

Would you rather jump into a dumpster or a vat of honey?
Vat of honey. Because that is less…socially unacceptable. And just plain bizarre.

What is your favorite breed of dog?
The kind that doesn’t slobber or shed on me.

Have you ever licked the tip of a ballpoint pen?
Probably. No, I lick my finger and then rub the pen on the fingertip.

Have you ever eaten frog legs?
YES. IN FRANCE. Nadine, let’s go again, just for you! They taste like fried chicken, but have very little substance.

Your absolute favorite shirt is dirty. Would you still wear it?
No. That’s why I have other shirts. To wear when my favourite shirt is dirty…
Have you ever put your tongue on a frozen pole?
I think so. Or maybe it was my brother and I just remember that?

Have you ever blown bubbles in your milk?
Duh.

What did you call your baby blanket?
I called it a blanket. I didn’t have baby names for things. My teddy bear was Teddy.

Have you ever worn bell-bottoms?
Clearly. My favourite had stripes down the sides in grade 9.

Guys: Have you ever been in the ladies’ room?
Girls: Have you ever been in the men’s room?
Yes. Line-ups are to be avoided.

Have you ever smelled your own feet?
Yes.

Did you just smell them?
No.

Have you ever broken a mirror?
Yes.

Have you ever fallen asleep during a movie in the theater?
Nope. Never. Too loud. Too exciting. I’m too jumpy.

Have you ever bathed a dog?
Yuck.

Have you ever used a slingshot?
Yes. It’s fun.

Have you ever gotten something stuck up your nose?
Uh….next question.

Have you ever sucked your thumb?
No. My sister did and she got a benign little growth of scar-tissue (or something) and had to have it removed and then we all got soothers instead.

Can you read while traveling without getting sick?
For about 10 minutes, yes.

Another Mundane Weekend

Last weekend, I saw Douglas Coupland at the movie theatre. This weekend, I:

• watched back-to-back movies with my housemates (Everything is Illuminated & Punch Drunk Love). I enjoyed them both.
• played Ultimate in the rain. I have found that the solution to my hatred of being in the rain is to wear a hat with a brim. This keeps my face dry, and so long as I am having fun, I can endure without whining.
• read The Gum Thief by Douglas Coupland. It takes place at Staples in North Van. I’ve driven by there but never gone in. I liked this book, although my roommate and I had slightly different interpretations on what I’d consider a pivotal moment in Glove Pond, the book within the book…
• watched Dirty Dancing. For the tenth time or so. It is a bit dirty. But the dancing! Oh, the dancing…Patrick Swayze, can’t you stay young forever?
• went to a bonfire. Turns out UBC campus is even bigger than I knew, and it has a farm. Wowsers.
• went to church. No surprises here, but it was good. No babies in the nursery, and my brother got lost on his way in.
• lunch at Benny’s Bagels on Broadway (say that ten times fast). I’m going to become a regular here, I think. I really like it. Delicious food, yummy smoothies, free wireless…just about perfect.
• slept through an episode of McGyver with Jonathan. That show is just too ridiculous.
• watched Zoolander. Haven’t seen it in a year or so. Still know far too many lines for my own good. Still giggle at most of them. Still skip the two sketchy scenes.
• ate cereal & yogourt & peach for supper. I love breakfast at supper.
• blogged.

Things On My Desk

It’s a bit of a smörgåsbord on this workspace of mine. Sitting around my computer are:

• a jar of jam
• a candle in a jar. Never been burned.
• 3 Christmas ornaments
• a picture of me, my two older siblings & my mom in a tent. From the summer I was 2.
• my iPod dock/player thing.
• a phone
• a combination cork/white board
• three pens
• a post-it note pad
• a cell phone
• a cartoon i cut out of a paper 3 years ago
• some returned mail
• a card with a marshmallow chick on the front
• papers that I am legally bound to keep for a year, but don’t know where to store
• work-related books/pamphlets
• a USB key
• my Bible & journal & current read
• my toothbrush
• AND a stationery gift pack that I want to regift. If you get it, I apologize.

(Does all this say something about me?)

Mad (@) TV

Sometimes I get mad at TV & the movies & the media in general. Especially at the following things, and possibly in the following order:

• when the couple that you want to be together shouldn’t be together because they are committed to other people
• extra-marital affairs that are not discouraged or shown to be damaging to anyone
• women who fight with their spouses rather than for their husbands
• female empowerment through sexiness (see the book Female Chauvinist Pigs)
• storylines that lack a hint of redemption
• girls who are clearly below a healthy body weight and portrayed as the norm
• gratuitous violence

A Long & Lovely Day

7:30am – my alarm goes off.

7:50am – I get out of bed.

7:55am – I realize the garbage didn’t get taken out. So Lyns and I do it.

8:15am – I go for a jog, stopping off at the grocery store to get shower essentials on the way back.

8:45am – I shower.

9:15am – I get breakfast and sit down at my computer.

9:40am – I leave for campus.

10:15am – I meet up with a new student who wants to get into a Bible study. She is sweet.

11am – I touch base with my staff team.

11:15am – I send off two important emails.

11:30am – Passion Vancouver meeting with free lunch and a new potential friend.

1:30pm – connect with a student to follow up on a difficult (but good) conversation the day before. Encouraging.

2pm – meeting to talk about a work trip next summer!

3pm – break time! Oh wait, few more things to do…

3:30pm – break time! I literally close my eyes in a sunbeam and listen to my iPod. Specifically Coldplay.

4pm – meet with another student interested in a Bible study. I get to tell her what Christianity is all about and how/why the Bible is divided into two separate parts.

4:45pm – I am barely in time for our weekly meeting, and I’m the MC!

4:55pm – I see the girl I just met with come in with another student!

5:08pm – we start a bit late.

6:38pm – we end a bit late & then it’s time to mingle.

6:55pm – I have a 7pm meeting about our upcoming PornNation event.

7:05pm – meeting. With a woman I met randomly (providentially?) on a plane two weeks ago. She is excited about what we’re doing, and I am excited that she is excited.

7:50pm – I get on the bus home and have a great little chat with a couple friends.

8pm – home to a freshly cooked dinner! And flowers!?

8:25pm – turn on the TV. Big Brother? No. Hole in the Wall? HECK YES!

right now – laughing. A lot.

In My Head

I have had the following songs/lyrics in my head this past week. I don’t mind, except that I’ve had only these lines. Not the whole song.

• “Put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up…”
• “If you change your mind – I’ll be first in line…”
• “I’ll send an SOS to the world. I hope that someone gets my – message in a bottle…”
• “My dad said be an actor, my son. But be a comical one…”

September Slump

I’m feeling like I’m hitting a bit of that September slump.

I attribute it to:
- lack of time spent with God (this could be unpacked in so many ways)
- excess of time spent socially
- uncertainty of my schedule for the next few weeks
- others’ stress that I tend to take on

Excuses, Excuses

I haven’t blogged much in the past…oh, month. This is why:

1. I was on vacation.
2. I was back at work & catching up.
3. I was in meetings all week.
4. My grandma died and I flew back home and left my laptop behind.
5. My family is currently down one computer, and with more kids at home, there was a lineup.
6. I had nothing to say.
7. My sister got stuck on the wrong side of the border (ie, they won’t let her go back to the States with her husband) and needed sympathy & resume help.
8. I couldn’t remember my password.
9. I have been thinking more in stories than in lists lately.